I was on my way to work one morning this past week. It was an average morning in all the average ways. I was still bleary-eyed though I had showered and had a quick breakfast. Like every workday. Some days the routine varies, but normally I avoid thinking about work until the moment I take my seat at the desk. And yes, I’m one of those who, since Covid more or less cleared up, no longer enjoy a WFH option.
One thing I do on my commute is review the previous evening’s activity. I have irons in the fire beyond the day job. I’m a songwriter and novelist. I write original songs and record in my home studio. And I’m finishing up a first novel.
I was about to turn onto the access road of the highway that takes me to the office when it dawned on me: I know what makes me happy.
On the morning in question I was reflecting on some small achievement I had racked up the night before. I don’t even remember now what project I had been working on. Whichever, it was the important one of the moment. And now, on the commute in, I felt the pleasant sensation of reflecting on good work from the night before, the hitting of some minor milestone, and I felt a smile cross my face.
I was about to turn onto the access road of the highway that takes me to the office when it dawned on me: I know what makes me happy. This was followed by another realization: It’s a good thing to know what makes you happy.
So much of what we do is rote; robotic. We follow the rules, do what’s expected, produce something significant to someone or something else. But any intrinsic value to what we do is missing. We do the work because we’re paid to. That’s why they call it work, we fatalistically remind ourselves, and each other, as we go through the day’s tasks.
Let’s pause a moment here to ask: Do you know what makes you happy? What would you do regardless whether you got paid a dime to do it? Let me suggest the answer to that question, that information, that self-knowledge, is crucial to possess. If you hit upon what makes you happy, then you’ve just discovered the key to happiness that’s been lying in the palm of your hand. It was there before you realized it. And that knowledge, what you might even call self-wisdom, is everything.
What makes me happy? Easy. Writing a good song lyric. Coming up with a melody and some interesting chord changes — something at least slightly different from anything else I’ve heard, something that expresses what I’m feeling at the moment — this gets me going. Or a solid novel writing session. They feel similar, those two. They’re related, though each is also distinct and specific. With a song, it’s the sense that I was able to exercise a gift I’ve been given. My mother, and her father before her, gave me the gift. Exercising the gift is primal, integral to my personality, to my sense of who I am and was born to be.
With novel writing it’s more the feeling of having solved a puzzle or figured out a brain teaser. Novel writing is a slog. It’s hard work that stretches out over time. But when I’ve had a productive novel writing session, that can also do the trick.
Clearly, I’m not mentioning here the valuing of time with family, watching your kids grow up, enjoying quality time with your significant other. Those are crucial elements of a fulfilling life based on social bonding, deep values and needs. In this context, though, I’m speaking about work; achievement.
Maybe what you value is “only” the family time. The grandkids. It could be fly fishing. Any enjoyable pursuit. In fact it could be anything. It’s your life, your goals, values, time well spent.
The what isn’t the point. The point is that you know what it is. Knowing it, you can then do everything in your power to make those moments, when you’re surprised by the joy of a small accomplishment, happen as often as possible.
If you haven’t given much thought to what makes you happy, or you have but still just aren’t sure, keep reflecting. Learn what makes you happy. The sooner you find out the better. Because knowing what it is, you can spend the rest of your days pursuing that thing. Doing it.